Match report

Evesham United 0 - 0 Tiverton Town

   Tuesday 18/01/2000   Southern League First Division
Nigel Davis

Having not really recovered from his trip to grisly Gresley‚ young T.I. Ton (who didn´t like his Christian name‚ preferring to be known by his middle name of Iver) was in two minds about stepping northwards again. However the lure of a new lady‚ a certain Ms Sham - you may have heard of her back in the good old days by her nickname '69' - convinced Ton to try and shake off the last vestiges of the flu and numerous injuries and venture forth. And so it was that he went to meet Eve.

The last two occasions that they had met had been on her visits to Devon. They were exciting times for both as he scored with her over and over again and she returned the compliment. But this time round it was the wrong time of the month and so it was left to a certain amount of foreplay in unfamiliar surroundings.

The longer the evening went on‚ so the tension (and excitement) increased but rarely did either of them push themselves over the brink. Early on there was a brief moment of horror akin to a scene from Psycho but fortunately it was more of a jaundiced flash than anything bloody and it didn´t spoil the evening.

Eve wasn´t put off by the fact that she was expected to perform in front of an audience for once and she gave as good as she got‚ although she did spend most of the evening trying to rip Iver´s shirt off. And twice she had to be calmed down as things threatened to boil over - stamping her little feety once on one of Iver´s legs and‚ later‚ wacking him from behind. But the most blatant offense of the night was when she turned up in a custodian´s disguise to two-time young Iver and take out Charlie Varley. She convinced certain members of the watching public that she was nothing but a bit of rough especially as the technique used was more akin to boxing. But she got away with it and Varley‚ total surprised by this approach‚ staggered away to be replaced by a turbanned Dom who had been in stitches since Saturday night.

Iver‚ though‚ should have been pleased with the night out although disappointed that he couldn´t score. But at least the evening hadn´t been pointless.

Tiverton Town: Paul Edwards‚ Steve Ovens‚ Neil Saunders‚ Paul Tatterton‚ Nicky Marker‚ Stuart Smith‚ Kevin Nancekivell‚ Peter Varley (Dominic Richardson 83)‚ Phil Everett‚ Scott Rogers‚ Richards Pears

Attenance: 174

This report ©2000 Nigel Davis

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